Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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