she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
