He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
