They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
