she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize