Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
