Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
