I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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