The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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