Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
