Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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