Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
