Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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