My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize