How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
