she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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