it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
