Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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