I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
