32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
