Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
