i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize