You can't motorboat a personality
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
