kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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