The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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