is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
