I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
