Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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