peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
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