last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just high enough for therapy.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
