We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
