Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
