If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
