He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize