i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
