Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
