i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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