i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
