you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
