When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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