handjob tips. give me some.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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