i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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