he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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