I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
