I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
