I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
