Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
