are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize