i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
