I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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