ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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