Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Randomize
