I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
