Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize