Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
