Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
We need to rekindle our bromance
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize