her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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