I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Randomize
