Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
