It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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