ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
