So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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