Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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