can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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