physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
wow bdsm is so cute
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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