ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize