The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
