you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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